The Biblical Husband

The following are a series of short articles published in a church newsletter by Bro. Tony.

I. Husbands Taking Their Proper Position In the Home
II. Husband Love Your Wife
III. The Excuse of Debt
IV. The Wife With Two Jobs
V. Reasons why wives should be keepers at home and not at work
VI. The Unruly Household

The Biblical Husband:
I. Husbands Taking Their Proper Position in the Home

Gird up now thy loins like a man;
for I will demand of thee, and answer thou me. Job 38:3

Men, we need to take back our homes. The Lord has ordained us to be the heads of our households--

Ephesians 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

1 Corinthians 11:8-9 For the man is not of the woman: but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.

We Christian men must fulfill our roles as leaders of our families. This necessitates getting into our Bibles to know God's requirements for us and our families. A man's wife is to be his chief disciple. Her primary care and feeding from the word of God should come from him--

1 Corinthians 14:35 And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.

But how can she be his disciple if he is not laboring in the word?

The following statement by John R. Rice sums up the families of today:

"The blame for the broken homes, the untrained and undisciplined children, the immodestly dressed and fashion-mad wives, and the whole train of evils which curse our American civilization, must be placed upon degenerate, weakling men, slackers and shirkers and quitters, not willing to take the place of manhood and bear the burdens which God lays on men as heads of families."

What saith the scriptures?

As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths. Isaiah 3:12

Next month's study will examine how we men can truly love and cherish our dear wives, without forsaking our God-given posts.

The Biblical Husband:
II. Husband Love Your Wife

Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favor of the LORD. Proverbs 18:22

A godly wife is a good thing. How can a brother love his wife in a practical, Bible way? Well, the "family altar" is an excellent place to start. It is a place where your entire family can offer the sacrifice of praise and worship unto God...

Each and every night, gather your family together and (1) pray (2) sing a hymn; and, (3) read a chapter or two or three from the Bible discussing it as you go along. The scriptures are the focal point of this worship time. Discuss how you can apply them to your lives as a family. As you are faithful to the family altar, the Lord will grow you together as one body.

Another practical way we can love our wives is to stop spending so much time with the hell-i-vision/television. A husband cannot "know" his wife by sitting mindlessly before a television every day after work for hours on end. Not only does he not fellowship with his wife, he is allowing Satan's children to infiltrate his mind, making him carnal--and we know that the carnal mind is EMNITY with God (Rom 8:7).

We may think it important to focus on our own selves and desires, but God's word says otherwise. We are to love and attend to our wives just like we attend to our own physical bodies Ephesians 5:28, So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. So even when we are tired we still need to tend to our lovely flower.

Let me leave you with this thought. Many men are unfulfilled because they've disobeyed God's command to love their wives. They've sought satisfaction everywhere else but their wives--whether through jobs, television, sports, other women (God forbid!), etc. No man will be sorry at the end of his life that he drank waters from his own cistern (Prov 5:15). God's laws are perfect. They will convert and satisfy the soul so you'll have no need of spoil (Psalms 18:30, 19:7, Prov. 31:11).

The Biblical Husband:
III. The Excuse of Debt

A man ought to work and support his family. This is correct in the Lord. 1 Timothy 5:8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

Some men may neglect their families because they must work extra hours to get the bills paid. They may wish that they could be free to enjoy their families, but they are bound in too much debt to afford the time. Perhaps we should take a real hard look at how we live. What are we spending our money on? Are we robbing Peter to pay Paul? Are there things or habits in our lives (e.g., booze, cable tv, cigarettes, gambling) that we put above our families? Will we consider giving up some unneedful things for the sake of our families and the glory of God?

Have we sold our families into slavery through debt? Matthew 18:25 But forasmuch as he had not to pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, and his wife, and children, and all that he had, and payment to be made. And, Proverbs 22:7 ...the borrower is servant to the lender.

We need to stop accruing unnecessary debt. We Christian men need to go without in certain areas and lower our standard of living in prudent frugality in order to get out of debt sooner. Proverbs 17:1 Better is a dry morsel, and quietness therewith, than an house full of sacrifices with strife.

If we have unpaid debts (credit cards maxed out, borrowing and not repaying) the Lord is not pleased: Psalms 37:21 The wicked borroweth, and payeth not again: but the righteous sheweth mercy, and giveth.

The godly husband must lead his family in all things being a good example. This includes being a good steward over finances.

The Biblical Husband:
IV. The Wife With Two Jobs

Let me start by saying that if the husband has given his blessing for the wife to work outside the home, then so be it. God has ordained that the wife should be in subjection to her husband. Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

Men, I want you to think on a few things that we are exposing our wives to when we send them to work. We've heard the sad stories of tension, divorce, and even extra-marital affairs that were the result of a wife leaving the home to work. In spite of this, many men stand dazed and confused as to why their marriages did not and do not work. For the world this is normal, but what does the Bible say about the world? 1 John 5:19 And we know that we are of God, and the whole world lieth in wickedness.

As the Priests of our homes, it is up to us to decide if having our wives work outside the home is a wise practice or not. The issue comes in if we think that the wife MUST WORK to help in the household expenses, bills, etc. Men this is OUR curse from the Lord. Way back in the garden of Eden when Adam and Eve committed their sin, the Lord pronounced this curse on Adam:

Genesis 3:17-19 And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life;

Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field;

In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.

Eve's curse is found in Genesis 3:16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

Many wives are trying to bear both curses by working outside the home. We men are responsible for providing for our families. The Bible says that if we don't we are worse than infidels! 1 Timothy 5:8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

Men, this all goes back to our standard of living. It must be lowered, if necessary, so that we alone can bear our curse and provide for our families. What about the children, my brothers? If the children are not receiving the daily, full-time nurturing of the mother because she is somewhere else in a business suit, we as the fathers will be held accountable to God.

I have only touched the surface of this subject. Next month we will examine reasons why the Lord would want the wife at home.

The Biblical Husband:
V. Reasons why wives should be keepers at home and not at work

1 Timothy 5:8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

God has ordained that men should provide for their households. I perceive that most women work outside of the home because the couple believes that they could not make it on one income. The biblical model; however, is that the husband work and the wife be a keeper at home (I Tim 5:14, Titus 2:4-5). If the children are not receiving the daily, full-time nurturing and training of the mother because she is somewhere else, the father will be held accountable.

Here are some compelling reasons why wives should be at home:

1) Working by the sweat of his face was Adam's curse, not Eve's. Her curse was pain in childbearing and that her desire would be to her husband and he would rule over her.

2) The husband is not able to protect his wife from the various influences preying on her at work.

3) When there are children at home, the absent mother will not be there for them when they need her nurturing, guidance, fellowship, discernment, chastisement, etc. And when she does finally see them, she will be too tired to offer them her best! Some mothers struggle with guilt.

4) The working wife is oftentimes twice as tired since she is trying to work TWO JOBS--one inside and one outside the home. She's already the weaker vessel and shouldn't have additional strain.

5) The wife tries to perform a balancing act between her job and family--it does not work. Something must go undone.

6) The wife can feel frustrated because she is often too mentally or physically exhausted to take care of her house the way she ought too!

7) The wife will be torn between two worlds that are in conflict with each other: Matthew 6:24 No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.

8) The wife will be under an authority other than her husband for the much of her "waking" life.

9) Both wife and husband come home stressed out which can cause arguments and other marital difficulties.

10) Because wives are earning their own money, many are unwilling to submit or respect their husband's opinions or requests. Rebellion.

11) A woman cannot be an effective keeper at home and "guide of the house" when she spends much of her time outside of the home. 1 Timothy 5:14 I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully. Titus 2:4-5 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

How can the husband "lead and protect" his wife when she is out working as hard (if not harder) than he is?

Sadly, many Christian women have been seduced by the lies of feminism which scorns being a full-time homemaker. Some Christian women derive satisfaction from a job title rather than the Lord Jesus Christ.

I strongly exhort and encourage men to take their proper roles as providers. Let your wives come home and fulfill their biblical duties as godly mothers, homemakers, wives, and companions.

Are your children unruly and worldly? Are they disobedient? Is your wife continually tired? Does she submit to you or does she fight to have her own way? Are there regular arguments in your home? Bring your working woman home and ask the Lord to make provision for your obedience to His word. Don't wait for the Lord to make this crooked path straight. You may not like the way that he does it!

The Biblical Husband:
VI. The Unruly Household

1 Timothy 3:5 (For if a man know not how to RULE his own house,
how shall he take care of the church of God?)

Every communion Sunday we recite our Church Covenant which reads in part, "We also engage to maintain family and secret devotion; to study diligently the word of God; to religiously educate our children..."

Brothers, do we have daily devotions in our homes or are we lying every month before God (warning--Eccl 5:4) and man? Is your home in order? Is it peaceful? Do your wife and children do as you say or is there chaos?

How can we expect our family to delight in spiritual things and walk in obedience to the Lord (and us) if the television is given more honor in the home than the Bible? The word of God cannot help a family much if it is not opened faithfully and reverenced.

Men are called to be the spiritual leaders of their households. We need to read the scriptures, pray and set aside time everyday for the family altar. We are to sanctify and cleanse our wives (and children) with the washing of the word--Ephesians 5:25-27 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

It is the man's responsibility to make sure that his household understands the spiritual truths of God's holy word. Some men have rebellious, argumentative wives that want to run the show. The Bible says it's hard to be with a contentious woman, but Brother, be patient and do your part. The Lord will take care of the rest. Remember that the Lord told YOU to teach your wife--1 Corinthians 14:35 And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.

Faithfully lead your household in family devotions everyday. In time, your corporate study will become a cherished time for the family. It is our duty to bathe our families in scripture DAILY. Jesus sacrificed His life for the church. We can certainly lay aside our lusts to make sure that family devotions take place.

Have you fulfilled your responsibility in this area or have your shirked it? Do you rule your own household well or does the household rule you? Do you wonder why chaos and confusion reign in your house? God is not the author of confusion. Let's stop giving place to the devil and let Christ have the preeminence in ALL things.

familyBack to The Christian Family Page